1. The XXXXL Ass : Most malyali teachers whether from UIS or not have this by default. We don't know if it has to do with anal sex in their teens but panties that large are still used to catch fish in many parts of the Andaman islands.Bottoms so large you better hire a cab to get around these things!
2. The Molasses Potbelly : You don't need your glasses to spot this one alright. It's hard to miss. The jellofied rice n booze storage on these women are a sign that she's happy making money and making love every night. Who makes love to them? Only the V.Ps got the answer to that one. Bet a little chalk powder on that belly really turns the old sucker on!
3. The Saggy Boobs : I know the guys will notice this one. Boobs that are almost dead and hanging suicidally close to the stinkin woman's armpits! They tell a tale of the numerous men & babies that've latched on to them in the most trying of mallu times. Those ain't mammaries no more. Those are now expired de-funct organs of the body that're just gonna drop-off anytime. Make sure you're not the one on whom that happens!
4. The Husband-beater Biceps : Move over Arnie coz here comes the UIS teacher with 20 inch biceps over Popeye-grade forearms. Very intimidatingly manly indeed. No wonder the male faculty in UIS are pussies. If these teachers have a bad day in school you'll see a lot of black-eyed spectacle-shattered lungi-torn men lining up the clinics the next day!
5. The Crooked Neck : All malyali UIS teachers have this. It's a sign that she's either had rough sex the previous night or she's flirting with you to get some.
6. The Double-Chin : This one's a common characteristic shared by the mallu teachers and the mallu girls of UIS. When you see more than one chin you can bet she's been in UIS for long. The calculation goes like this
One layer = 5 years in UIS
Two layers = 7+ years
Three or more layers = 10+ and close to becoming Tommy Shandy's next celebrated housemaid.
7. The Cheap Sari : In UIS you'll see teachers wearing transparent funeral white or sambar-coloured vegetable print saris. The material of those things are so cheap and flimsy that 3 rounds later you can still see those humongous fisherman panties underneath. But really transparent blouses are used to offset this turn-off. If you see a teacher with more than one male colleague around her then you can bet she's wearing an explodingly tight & sweaty ultra transparent blouse today. Alternatively the teacher that gets promoted in salary or position in UIS will always be sporting a low-cut really tight n transparent blouse that leaves nothing to imagination. Not even nipple dia or colour(which by the way is usually black)!
8. The Oily Hair : A traditional mallu UIS teacher will have a minimum 1.5 litres of coconut oil in her hair at any given time of the day. Don't be surprised to see lot's of creatures crawing out from it onto the blackboard. And don't be surprised to see a lot of malyali men following the trail of that decayed smell all the way to the women's houses.
9. The Traditional Bindi : Oh how patriotic. Almost all malyali teachers wear this on a daily basis. It's another story if their daughters are partying pantyless with their tuition sirs but these women don't feel complete without the touch of mallu tradition. You bet Shandy notices these little but important things at the annual sports meet.
10. The Status Paraphernalia : You'll recognise a mallu UIS teacher from the stuff she holds in her hands most of the time. If she's got only chalk then she's new and single. If she's holding one mobile phone and a pen then she's just married and still looking. A mobile and a spectacle case means she's married with kids and giving tuitions.To her husband that is. Two mobiles means two things - she's either got those cheap phones from Dubai or one from her husband and the other from the VP. That means she's having all her bananas and eating it too!
2. The Molasses Potbelly : You don't need your glasses to spot this one alright. It's hard to miss. The jellofied rice n booze storage on these women are a sign that she's happy making money and making love every night. Who makes love to them? Only the V.Ps got the answer to that one. Bet a little chalk powder on that belly really turns the old sucker on!
3. The Saggy Boobs : I know the guys will notice this one. Boobs that are almost dead and hanging suicidally close to the stinkin woman's armpits! They tell a tale of the numerous men & babies that've latched on to them in the most trying of mallu times. Those ain't mammaries no more. Those are now expired de-funct organs of the body that're just gonna drop-off anytime. Make sure you're not the one on whom that happens!
4. The Husband-beater Biceps : Move over Arnie coz here comes the UIS teacher with 20 inch biceps over Popeye-grade forearms. Very intimidatingly manly indeed. No wonder the male faculty in UIS are pussies. If these teachers have a bad day in school you'll see a lot of black-eyed spectacle-shattered lungi-torn men lining up the clinics the next day!
5. The Crooked Neck : All malyali UIS teachers have this. It's a sign that she's either had rough sex the previous night or she's flirting with you to get some.
6. The Double-Chin : This one's a common characteristic shared by the mallu teachers and the mallu girls of UIS. When you see more than one chin you can bet she's been in UIS for long. The calculation goes like this
One layer = 5 years in UIS
Two layers = 7+ years
Three or more layers = 10+ and close to becoming Tommy Shandy's next celebrated housemaid.
7. The Cheap Sari : In UIS you'll see teachers wearing transparent funeral white or sambar-coloured vegetable print saris. The material of those things are so cheap and flimsy that 3 rounds later you can still see those humongous fisherman panties underneath. But really transparent blouses are used to offset this turn-off. If you see a teacher with more than one male colleague around her then you can bet she's wearing an explodingly tight & sweaty ultra transparent blouse today. Alternatively the teacher that gets promoted in salary or position in UIS will always be sporting a low-cut really tight n transparent blouse that leaves nothing to imagination. Not even nipple dia or colour(which by the way is usually black)!
8. The Oily Hair : A traditional mallu UIS teacher will have a minimum 1.5 litres of coconut oil in her hair at any given time of the day. Don't be surprised to see lot's of creatures crawing out from it onto the blackboard. And don't be surprised to see a lot of malyali men following the trail of that decayed smell all the way to the women's houses.
9. The Traditional Bindi : Oh how patriotic. Almost all malyali teachers wear this on a daily basis. It's another story if their daughters are partying pantyless with their tuition sirs but these women don't feel complete without the touch of mallu tradition. You bet Shandy notices these little but important things at the annual sports meet.
10. The Status Paraphernalia : You'll recognise a mallu UIS teacher from the stuff she holds in her hands most of the time. If she's got only chalk then she's new and single. If she's holding one mobile phone and a pen then she's just married and still looking. A mobile and a spectacle case means she's married with kids and giving tuitions.To her husband that is. Two mobiles means two things - she's either got those cheap phones from Dubai or one from her husband and the other from the VP. That means she's having all her bananas and eating it too!